Falafel called Denis McDonough on his cell phone to ask to interview the president in light of what he said about Chlorine Gas not being a chemical weapon.
McDonough, eager for the president to clarify the matter, granted Falafel his interview as soon as his plane landed arriving from Damascus. The Falafel Chlorine Gas interview of Barack Obama started promptly at 4 pm, after the president shot 56 over par on a 9-hole nearby golf course.
And so, the Falafel Chlorine Gas interview with Barack Obama began
Falafel: “Thank you, Mr. President, for the interview”
Obama: “Let me explain something important. I know that I said that Chlorine Gas is not considered a chemical weapon, historically-speaking, but what I really meant was that Chlorine Gas is harmless. Ask away”
Falafel: “What do you mean by ‘harmless’ Mr. President?”
Obama: “Chlorine is used in everything from drinking water, to refrigeration. Hell, rich white folks use it in their swimming pools. If it was harmful, rich white folks would not be swimming in it everyday.”
Falafel: “We are talking about Chlorine Gas here, not Chlorine, the chemical by-product”
Obama: “Same difference to me”
Falafel: “But Mr. President, people are dying in Syria from Chlorine Gas attacks”
Obama: “Are you sure they are not dying from exposure to heat as a result of climate change? You see Falafel, climate change started the Syrian civil war, and I believe climate change is what is killing Syrians today.”
Falafel: “Mr. President, climate change is not responsible for the documented Chlorine Gas attacks. The Syrian Revolution was sparked because of the brutality of Assad and the tyranny of his regime, not climate change.”
Obama: “I am about to sign an Executive Order to fund a climate change study in Syria to be led by the finest Chicago scientists. You can quote me on this. Let us wait for their data before we reach any conclusion.”
Falafel: “Mr. President, what do I tell Syrians whose family members died from Chlorine Gas?”
Obama: “Tell them if Assad sends Chlorine their way, it is a gift. Build a pool and swim in it.”
The Falafel Chlorine Gas interview was over.
Obama made it official: Syrians are dying from climate change, not the Assad terror. In Obama’s opinion, Chlorine Gas is good for you, otherwise rich white folks would not swim in it.
God bless the American ignorant voters.
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