It was 4:00am when Falafel’s cell phone rang. On the other line Falafel could hear President Trump, all anxious and disturbed, mutter incomprehensible words. After few minutes, the President gained his composure. For Falafel, it was a high point of reckoning he experienced on that call because he could never imagine what was about to happen next. Falafel witnessed Trump Islam conversion.
Trump, now all business-like, asked Falafel to meet him at the White House in one hour. Still unshaven Falafel figured it better be that the President is about to confess his Russian compromise.
*****
Trump: Falafel, so glad you are here. I can’t sleep no more.
Falafel, sensing an opportunity.
Falafel: Something on your mind Mr. President?
Trump: Oh, yes Falafel. A big thing on mind. You see, I cannot dislodge from my brain the scene of the massacre in Christchurch in New Zealand. Those poor Muslims being mowed like animals, it is just too much for me to take.
Falafel kept quiet.
Trump: Therefore I decided to convert to Islam in support of all Muslims around the world. Do you think they’ll take me?
Falafel, now eyes wide open, is speechless.
Falafel (after a while): I am still in shock Mr. President. Are you on some medication? It sounds you are hallucinating.
Trump: Never had a clearer vision in my life. Definitely, I want to convert. Can you help me make the arrangements? You know, an ordained minister and the like?
Falafel: An Imam you mean? I am not sure what I could do. Mr. President.
Trump: Call my friend Mohammad bin Salman. Ask for his assistance. Can you do that for me?
FALAFEL WITNESSED TRUMP ISLAM CONVERSION
In a Mosque, surrounded by body guards trying to maintain the safety of the President, Falafel witnessed Trump Islam conversion at the hands of a Saudi Wahabbi Imam the Saudi Embassy arranged on a short notice. The scene was unreal.
Imam Mohammad: Do you, Donald Trump, swear to be a good Muslim who will convert other infidels?
Trump: I swear.
Imam Mohammad: Do you, Donald Trump, swear to give-up alcohol and pork?
Trump: I swear.
Imam Mohammad: Do you, Donald Trump, swear to send tweets in support of our Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman even though he is a vile of a human being full of s***?
Trump: I swear.
Imam Mohammad: Do you, Donald Trump, swear to love all human beings? Brown, black, yellow, white, or Kodak multi-color?
Trump: I swear.
Imam Mohammad: Do you, Donald Trump, swear to love only the four wives you marry?
Trump: I swear.
Imam Mohammad: Do you, Donald Trump, swear to come to prayers every Friday accompanied by all your family?
Trump: I swear.
Imam Mohammad: Do you, Donald Trump, swear to force Melania and Ivanka to wear a Hijab everywhere they go?
Trump: I swear.
Imam Mohammad: Do you, Donald Trump, swear to distance yourself from that Jew son-in-law of yours?
Trump: I swear.
Imam Mohammad: Do you, Donald Trump, swear to give-up all of your white supremacist, racist, neo-Nazi supporters who hate Muslims with passion?
SAY WHAT?
Trump (Looks at the Imam): What the hell? You want me to give-up my only supporters? All of them? How could I give-up Vladimir? He is my mentor and best friend.
Imam Mohammad: I do want you to give them all up. You are a Muslim now.
Trump (reluctantly): OK. OK. I swear.
*****
There you have it folks. The truth about our president elected with help from Russia in broad daylight in 2016.
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